In conversation with Nature
[In a campsite somewhere near the Kyle of Lochalsh]
UC: Man, is this rain and wind EVER going to stop?
Nature: [laughing] Um, nope?
UC: [indignant] I swear those are 80mph gusts and not 40mph ones like it said on the BBC website!
Nature: Em Pee Aitch? I'll give you Em Pee Aitch, sista! [whoosh] Besides, I laugh in the face of the Bee Bee See website. I snigger at the efforts of the Meteorological Office. I chortle at the ludicrous house-building methods of the three little pigs!
UC: Oh, for the love of all things holy, could you at least drop the wind? The rain, I could live with.
Nature: Never! I am Mother****er Nature. I am Almighty. Try as you might, little earthlings, to tame me, I WILL ALWAYS WIN! Suck it up!
*******
'This is Steve Wright In The Afternoon. So! The UK weather today will be mostly fine, highs of around 16 degrees, with the odd shower.'
UC: Man, is this rain and wind EVER going to stop?
Nature: [laughing] Um, nope?
UC: [indignant] I swear those are 80mph gusts and not 40mph ones like it said on the BBC website!
Nature: Em Pee Aitch? I'll give you Em Pee Aitch, sista! [whoosh] Besides, I laugh in the face of the Bee Bee See website. I snigger at the efforts of the Meteorological Office. I chortle at the ludicrous house-building methods of the three little pigs!
UC: Oh, for the love of all things holy, could you at least drop the wind? The rain, I could live with.
Nature: Never! I am Mother****er Nature. I am Almighty. Try as you might, little earthlings, to tame me, I WILL ALWAYS WIN! Suck it up!
*******
'This is Steve Wright In The Afternoon. So! The UK weather today will be mostly fine, highs of around 16 degrees, with the odd shower.'
posted by Urban Chick @ 1:52 PM
9 Comments:
At May 28, 2007 7:51 PM,
Betty said…
Hmm, this has to be the coldest May Bank Holiday for a long time. Will I have to get the winter coat out of mothballs?
Not looking good for our holiday in Cornwall in a couple of weeks' time. There we were trying to be all smug and sanctimonious, reducing our carbon footprint by not flying! Oh well.
At May 28, 2007 9:47 PM,
Justine said…
unfair!
Long weekend here as well, but its something connected to Easter/Whitsunday. I guess it grew up to be a bank holiday.
At May 29, 2007 9:54 AM,
Metal4Life said…
Um, how come the 'warmest April on record'* was a sure fire indication of so-called gloabl warming but 'the coldest May on record'* isn't being touted as a harbinger of the next ice age?
Oh, and did you know that average, worldwide temperatures have dropped every year since 1999?
Conshpiracy? Shurely not.
* copyright every weather presenter on every channel
At May 29, 2007 2:28 PM,
GreatSheElephant said…
This post is positively Wagnerian.
Your request is up on Halp! btw
At May 29, 2007 3:27 PM,
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At May 29, 2007 4:40 PM,
rivergirlie said…
please reassure that you have returned safely and are not currently somewhere over the atlantic clinging deperately to your tent. i spent a night in a little tiny tent over the w/e and could sleep for the noisy raindrops!
At May 29, 2007 5:29 PM,
Moobs said…
Ah ... so you made the holidaying in the Highlands error. Everytime P and I do that, Nature beats our pasty urban arses.
At May 30, 2007 1:58 PM,
Bela said…
I'm frozen here, in the middle of Shepherd's Bush, where car exhaust fumes normally keep us warm; I can't imagine what it must be like up north - on a campsite!!!! Whose bright idea was that?
At June 04, 2007 8:44 PM,
@themill said…
Welcome back from whatever blowy, wet corner of the globe you were. Thought you'd got lost.
And of course I'll vote for you - haven't a clue what it's all about, but hey ho.
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