Ladies, gentlemen, members of the Academy

*flaps hands around in front of eyes in a bid to hold back the tears in the style of Hollywood actress with a face-ful of stage make-up*

I'm a nominee! For the prestigious Tenuous Connections Award! I don't know what to say...*sniffs*...truly it is an honour simply to be nominated and to be in such fine company ("I kept David Essex waiting while I had a wee" and "Stalking Kim Wilde caused me inadvertently to shoplift" and more, oh so many more). I am humbled.

Really. It won't matter one jot if I don't win (VOTE FOR ME). No, I'm just so thrilled to have been nominated (VOTE FOR ME). Really there are so many more deserving entries (VOTE FOR ME).

*mwah mwah*

 

[At the very least, hotfoot it over to Moobz. If you do vote for me, don't expect it to count. And don't bother voting at all if you're poor and come from an ethnic minority. The Moobz voting system is Floridian.]