How to buff up your ego

Join an online community. Offer advice on every subject under the sun about which you have merest ounce of knowledge.

In the past thirty days, I have proferred what (little) wisdom I have on the following topics:

• Recipes that use asapargus and haloumi cheese
• Tourist destinations in Turkey
• Coping with regression in potty training
• Dress codes for funerals
• How to treat garden furniture*
• The unsuitability of parmesan cheese for vegetarians
• Film recommendations
• The prevalence of racial stereotyping of Gypsies
• Where to buy a cheap, reliable, second hand washer-dryer
• Treatment of recurrent urinary tract infections
• Planning legislation regarding the conversion of a garage into a bedroom

Really, I'm just one small step away from an agony aunt column in a tabloid newspaper or one of those one-word-titled women's weeklies, in which my advice will range from psycho-sexual counselling through to the best way to cook a kohlrabi.

* in our case: badly, so it warps whilst left outside during the winter months