Jimmy Choos

Urban Chick

is somewhere else instead

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Tile-induced tedium

We go to The Posh Tile Shop (TPTS). We know we won't be buying tiles from TPTS but we can dream, right? And we're looking for inspiration, says Mr Chick. Inspiration-hunting? Nothing to be ashamed of.

TPTS is indeed quite posh. And quite expensive. And the chicklets immediately lunge for some slate tiles stacked precariously on the floor, so we don't stay long. But we buy the brochure (yes, that posh). The shop assistant tosses a paint colour swatch (now free!) into our bag and sends us on our way with a smile that indicates her relief at the prospect of two three-year-olds leaving the premises.

Later in the week, we go to The Cheap-o Tile Store (TCTS). Really there isn't any need to prefix their company name with 'discount' because everyone knows 'store' equals cheap and 'shop' equals more expensive.

We wander up and down the aisles in bewilderment. There is a lot of sighing. There is some flustered muttering along the lines of 'how the heck did we ever think we quite fancied building our own house when we can barely choose tiles for a new bathroom'. There are some admissions that the house-building idea was only ever a ploy to try to become friends with Kevin McCloud.

We hang, like flies over dog dirt, around the stone tiles section. We hum and haw and sigh some more. A man starts yelling 'Are we winning?' and I imagine he is referring to some local derby that he is missing on account of having to follow arguing couples round TCTS. But no, he is not talking of that game with one ball and eleven men with which most of the planet, except me and Mr Chick, is obsessed. We turn around and he looks us in the face and asks again: 'Anything take your fancy? Are we winning?'

'No, we're arguing.'

'Oh. Well, can I help at all?'

We tell him our tale of woe. High ceilings. North-facing aspect. Haven't measured anything yet. Not sure about: colour scheme, tile type, exact location of sanitary ware, existence of God. Et cetera.

He retreats a little.

'Well, OK...um, give me a yell if you need any help or samples or anything.'

We are not winning.

So we go to Starbucks.


  • At August 23, 2007 5:56 pm, Blogger WinterWheat said…

    Please tell me you'll be hiring a professional to do the tiling.....?

  • At August 23, 2007 8:11 pm, Blogger Urban Chick said…

    heavens, yes!

    and the big fat irony is that we ended up getting tiles at the posh place (mr chick pointing out every five minutes that we were basically buying the cheapest stock they had!)

    hey ho...

  • At August 23, 2007 8:36 pm, Blogger schoolgatemum said…

    Yes, you went to Starbucks... and then had to decide whether to have cappuccino, latte, americano, tea, hot chocolate, frappuccino, full-fat, semi-skimmed, skimmed, tall, grande, with whipped cream, extra foam, with an extra shot, decaf...

  • At August 27, 2007 10:42 am, Anonymous Marsha Klein said…

    If it's the posh tile shop I'm thinking of, then I'm hugely impressed. I've never done more than stand with my nose pressed against the glass, looking in.

    Sometimes you see something and just know it's right, even if it is in the posh shop!

  • At August 28, 2007 3:10 pm, Blogger Milla said…

    choice paralysis is a killer. Just wait til you get to carpets. But you got away "lightly" - we did the round and round and round and there and back again in out in out back to the first place about a thousand times. Happy weekends. Lots of them. Kinda miss it all now.

  • At September 03, 2007 4:26 pm, Blogger Kyahgirl said…

    Hi UC! You are brave. I shudder to think of the time when we have to start choosing bits ands pieces for finishing our basement. Two very analytical people together on a project can really bog it down :-)

    hope that you and the chicklets and your long suffering husband are doing well.

  • At September 20, 2007 6:54 am, Blogger katiedid said…

    But.... a professional?? Tile is like, time consuming, and a little messy, but fairly straightforward to do as far as home upfixing goes! Seriously. Then again and on the other hand, Starbucks IS lots easier than any home decorating endeavor whatsoever. I say Starbucks is winning, but maybe that's just the ennui of home ownership talking.

  • At September 24, 2007 8:02 am, Anonymous OvaGirl said…

    UGGG! You speak of things hellish dear UC! I too have entered a PTS and examined posh Tiles also the cheapside pals but one year later am YET TO MAKE UP OUR MINDS. Our kitchen wall sports pencil marks to indicate where tiles would go if we could make up our frigging minds which tiles we shall have. (4 people's minds to co-ordinate)

  • At October 24, 2007 4:35 pm, Blogger WinterWheat said…

    Where you been, girl????

  • At January 02, 2008 11:54 am, Blogger mig bardsley said…

    I took my other half to Ikea a few weeks ago. That was a silly idea and a half.
    Just dropped in to say Happy New Year :)
    (and give my worshipful regards to that gorgeous Kevin Mcloud when you build your house - I'll be watching out for a Grand Chick House design)


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